Forgiveness with Father Jason

One of our Franciscan Priests at school, Father Jason, who also happens to be my favorite professor, (Extra credit, Father???😂) gave an excellent and inspiring homily this morning! This post is based on a few notes that I took from it and a fantastic analogy that he gave.

It can be immensely difficult to forgive. Throughout our lives, we will be hurt many, many times by nearly everyone we love and who loves us, and even sometimes by people whom we don't know. We hear so often the phrase "forgive and forget." I don't think that's practical or necessary. We will always remember the times we've been hurt in major ways. There's no need to forget them, as long as we can forgive.

Imagine you're standing behind the person who's hurt you. They have their back turned towards you. For a while, you might have your back turned to them as well. Anger, pride, fear, or a myriad of other feelings might keep your back turned to that other person. Forgiveness is when you turn around, and back towards them. You are willing to look at them and say, "I forgive you. I love you, because God loves you. I set you free from what you did to hurt me." And oftentimes this is simply done in the heart, though in certain situations it helps to say it aloud to the other person. Forgiveness sets the other person free and sets us free from hatred, pride, and resentment.

Now, the other person might also turn around- or they might already be turned around, waiting for your forgiveness. Reconciliation is turning back towards them when they are and being in a position where you are able and open to embracing them once more, acknowledging their dignity and that they are no better or worse than you. Instead of viewing them as someone below you because they hurt you, you view them as an equal, a fellow sinner, whom Christ loves. Think about it... when you hug someone, your hearts are on the same level. Neither of you are above or below one another. You're equal in dignity- no one owes any other any sort of debt. All is forgiven.

At the same time, we should not place ourselves below someone who has hurt us. Forgiveness does not mean that we become door mats to be walked all over and let people do whatever they'd like to us! Forgiveness restores equality.

It's also important to consider situations of abuse. In these situations, we can forgive, and turn towards them, but we should never feel the need to go to them and put our full trust in their good intentions. Oftentimes abuse will occur over and over again if this is done. We can turn towards someone who has hurt us, recognizing their dignity because of their humanity, but still keep a boundary wall of safety up to avoid being hurt again. Forgiveness does not always take away distrust.

Of course, there are situations in which someone will radically reconcile with their abuser or someone who has hurt them very badly- as Jesus forgave us, for instance- and that is absolutely incredible. Though that is something we can hope for, for physical, mental, and emotional safety purposes it is not always possible.

I invite you today to think about who you can forgive. Maybe you're ready to forgive them. Maybe you're not. Whatever the case may be, just pray for them today. Pray for them, and pray that Jesus would help you to forgive them for what they've done to you and that He would forgive them as well.